YOUR BEST vs. THE BEST

Do you ever compare yourself to others and then beat yourself up wishing that you were more like them? “I wish I had abs like Jane” or “I wish I was as quick on my feet in the board room as Ben” or “I wish I could play tennis like Tony” or “I wish I was as good with my kids as Kristin”.  

When you compare yourself to someone else you will NEVER be good enough. Let’s say you practice day and night and get better at tennis than Tony. Does that satisfy you? No, because then you up your “wish” to the next level. Even Anna Kornakova, whose whole life revolved around tennis to the exclusion of all else wasn’t always “the best” and won’t continue to be “the best” as the next super-athlete tops her talent and her records.

We are all unique individuals. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses, our own priorities. So thinking that we can be “the best” at everything we value isn’t realistic. It  sets us up for disappointment and low self esteem. We will never measure up if we compare ourselves to the “best” in all the categories in which we judge ourselves. Steve has the best sense of humor, Tracy has the best nose, James is the best artist. What we are telling ourselves is that in order to feel good about ourself we need to have the best individual qualities of every person.  In other words, we have to be perfect. 

Nobody is perfect, not even James, the best artist. When we look at the whole person, not just the attribute we covet, we will see that he lacks other gifts. Maybe even a crooked nose or no sense of humor.

So what is the answer? Stop striving? No, just change one word. Stop trying to be “the best” and start trying to be ”your best”. Stop comparing yourself to others. If you want to be a great artist or you want great abs or you want to excel at tennis, work hard. Judge your work against your past work...judge it on it’s own merit...judge your effort. Did you do the best you could do? Doing “your best” in everything you value leads to pride of accomplishment and high self esteem.

Next time you are tempted to compare your talents or attributes with someone else's, remember this. Trying to be “the best” sets you up for disappointment and low self esteem. Doing “your best” leads to pride of accomplishment and high self esteem. To me it’s a pretty clear choice.

I truly believe in Albert Einstein's statement that 

"Anyone who has never made a mistake

 has never tried anything new."

Whatever you're facing today, 

Keep going. 

Keep moving.

Keep hoping.

Keep pressing on.

There is victory on the other side.

Mandy Hale

Fortune Favors The Brave. 

Aida

IT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU...

...IT'S HOW YOU HANDLE IT

Stuff happens. Good stuff and bad stuff. It’s unavoidable. And when the bad stuff happens it’s hard not to feel sorry for yourself and have a little “pity party”. But after the “party” is over, what do you do? I believe that’s when you really find out what you’re made of. 

A friend of mine lost her husband very young. It was a tragedy. But her courage and positive attitude was amazing. She accepted every social invitation she received, she volunteered for several worthwhile charities, and she lived life to the fullest. One day when I asked her how she stayed so positive and cheerful in the face of such a devastating blow, she confided in me that she gives herself some time every morning to grieve when she first wakes up, then she dries her tears and gets on with her day.

Compare that to another acquaintance with a similar tragedy who never got on with her life. She spent years basking in her misery. She retold the sadness of her life to everyone who would listen and she found less and less people willing to listen to her as time went on. Today she is a sad, lonely woman who lives in the past.

The exact same thing happened to both women, but their futures were 180 degrees different. One found a way to deal with her grief and find happiness and fulfillment again, the other chose not to move past her tragedy. They both had the choice to make and their choices dictated their futures.

We all have the same choice to make every day when the bad stuff happens. For example: you don’t get the promotion you were hoping for. You can act out your frustration, becoming less effective and less personable at the office (making you even more likely to be passed over for another promotion) or you can look at the reasons you might not have been chosen and work toward making yourself more valuable so when the next opportunity comes along you will be ready.

Even with small things. Say someone cuts you off in traffic on your way to work. You can get mad, honk your horn, pound on the steering wheel and let that frustration simmer so that you get to work, snap at your coworkers and have a miserable day. Or you can blow it off. Either way, you got cut off, but in the first example you let it affect your whole day (and possibly your health). In the second, you have only a moment of frustration and then your day goes back to being pleasant.

I know, easier said than done. But when you look unemotionally at the issue and the outcome you want, doesn’t it make sense to make the choice that leads to happiness? 

To attract positive things in your life, 

start by giving off positive energy.

Reality 

is a product of our 

dreams 

decisions 

and actions