If you wait to do everything 

until you're sure it's right, 

you'll probably never do much of anything.

- Win Borden

The key to change...

LET GO OF FEAR.

- Rosanne Cash

GET ON YOUR OWN SIDE

There is an inner conflict in my head. My logical, determined, focused side wars with my lazy, comfort-seeking side. Sometimes the lazy side wins...well, to be honest it wins a lot...but it never makes me feel good when it does. 

Here’s an example of what happens. My logical side says I need to exercise. My lazy side comes up with ten reasons why I can’t do it right then. And they are all good reasons because my brain thought them up. So my logical side backs off and I don’t exercise. But here’s what I discovered. The logical side isn’t me, the lazy side isn’t me, I am the person in the middle, and I control both of those aspects of my personality. I know that sounds a little “duh”, but looking at it that way mades you realize that you are in charge of your life. The trick is not to let the lazy, arrogant, fearful, or whatever aspect of your personality that is holding you back, override the whole of you.

I call it “getting on my own side”. It means kicking out the noises in your head that lead you away from meeting your goals. So, using my exercise example: I look at my goal (to lose five pounds and increase my muscle strength and flexibility) and I look at the things I must do to achieve that goal, (good nutrition, cardio, strength training and yoga). Then anything that gets in the way of that gets banished. When I’m on my own side, my logical side and I are in complete harmony. The lazy side doesn’t have a chance because I stop giving it power.

You may have already experienced this. Have you ever tried and tried to reach a goal without success and then suddenly the planets aligned and you sailed smoothly toward your goal? If so, you probably “got on your own side”. It’s a subtle shift in thinking, but it’s very powerful. If you need help finding that shift, give me a call, I’d love to help.

A strong 

positive mental attitude 

will create more miracles 

than any wonder drug.

Wisdom 

is knowing what to do next, 

Skill 

is knowing how to do it, 

and 

Virtue 

is doing it.

I found a book entitled 

"How To Be Amazing At Anything". 

It had only a single page inside 

and it was just one word long: 

PRACTICE.

ARE YOU RESILIENT?

In my experience as a transition coach I have discovered that resilience is a key factor in successfully navigating change. Especially negative change, like the loss of a job or a divorce. 

The dictionary defines resilience as:

1. the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.
2. the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.

Are you resilient? I think you are. I think we all are. It’s just a matter of developing the right attitude. It’s not easy. It takes guts to “pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start over again”. It takes fortitude not to give up when it gets hard. It takes courage and self confidence not to let the thing that precipitated your change paralyze you into not moving forward. But it’s worth it. 

An acquaintance of mine made a mistake, a big one that cost her company money, and she lost her job. She was devastated. She came to me in fear and in failure, seeking help in her time of crisis. The first thing we did is analyze the situation. It turned out that the error wasn’t hers directly, but was made by one of her employees. Being new to management, she had difficulty not feeling as if she had been wronged. But upon further analysis she realized that although it wasn’t her error, it was her responsibility. She was responsible for the work of her employees and her real error was not being a diligent supervisor. We also worked on her reluctance to try to find a new job. It was difficult for her to put herself out there again after her perceived failure. 

Armed with her new self awareness and courage, she studied effective management techniques while she searched for a new job. She used all her resources, networking and building relationships instead of hiding out in shame because of her failure. Within a few months she had a new job, a better understanding of the skills needed to manage employees and the confidence of knowing that she overcame her failure and was stronger, smarter and more confident because of it.

So you failed or you had a bad break. Everybody does. How many times did Edison fail before he successfully invented the lightbulb? The trick is to learn from your failures and move on. Don’t beat yourself up, don’t be afraid to try again, just analyze what went wrong. Think about how you would change the situation if you could relive it with the knowledge you now have. Then, just like a research scientist, make the adjustments and start confidently on a new path.