IF YOU DON'T TRY, YOU CAN'T FAIL...

...but you can’t succeed either!

“It’s much safer to stay right where I am. It’s comfortable. It’s known. It’s easy.  Stepping out onto that ledge is scary; and there are no guarantees that I will succeed. In fact, I may fail miserably and humiliate myself, proving that I am indeed stupid (a failure, a fraud, a no-talent bum, a “fill-in-the-blank” insulting name of your choice).”

Do you sometimes talk to yourself like that? If so, you’re not alone. It is a recurring theme with many of my clients. It is hard - and scary - to get out of your comfort zone and try something new. And there is no guarantee that you will succeed. But here’s the thing...if you don’t try, you absolutely can’t succeed. 

I have a client who hated his job but was afraid to look for a better one. He would complain and bemoan his fate, but wouldn’t take the steps necessary to change his circumstance because he was afraid that the unknown might be worse than the known.   “Maybe the new boss will be worse than the old one...maybe they will be even more demanding...maybe I won’t be able to keep up...maybe they will fire me...maybe I won’t be able to find another job...maybe my wife will divorce me and take my kids away...maybe I will end up homeless.” His self-talk spiraled down to unbelievably far- fetched fates and was so negative that it sabotaged his confidence and ability to move forward. 

But with a little work, instead of seeing the worst possible outcome, he reframed his thinking to see the best possible outcome. It went something like this: “I am smart and capable. I would bring valuable knowledge and a great work ethic to any company I joined. I look forward to having a boss who appreciates my hard work. I may even get a promotion. My wife and kids would be so proud of me...maybe we could finally get that dream house we have always wanted.”

See the difference? Instead of coming from a place of fear, my client came from a place of confidence and optimism. Of course that is not a guarantee of success, but it certainly stacks the deck more favorably. So next time you want to stay in your comfort zone because of fear of failure, don’t. Reframe your negative thoughts and give it your best shot. And when you do, whether you succeed or fail, you will absolutely grow as a person.