Continuous effort, 

not strength 

or intelligence, 

is the key 

to unlocking our potential.

Winston Churchill

YOUR BEST vs. THE BEST

Do you ever compare yourself to others and then beat yourself up wishing that you were more like them? “I wish I had abs like Jane” or “I wish I was as quick on my feet in the board room as Ben” or “I wish I could play tennis like Tony” or “I wish I was as good with my kids as Kristin”.  

When you compare yourself to someone else you will NEVER be good enough. Let’s say you practice day and night and get better at tennis than Tony. Does that satisfy you? No, because then you up your “wish” to the next level. Even Anna Kornakova, whose whole life revolved around tennis to the exclusion of all else wasn’t always “the best” and won’t continue to be “the best” as the next super-athlete tops her talent and her records.

We are all unique individuals. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses, our own priorities. So thinking that we can be “the best” at everything we value isn’t realistic. It  sets us up for disappointment and low self esteem. We will never measure up if we compare ourselves to the “best” in all the categories in which we judge ourselves. Steve has the best sense of humor, Tracy has the best nose, James is the best artist. What we are telling ourselves is that in order to feel good about ourself we need to have the best individual qualities of every person.  In other words, we have to be perfect. 

Nobody is perfect, not even James, the best artist. When we look at the whole person, not just the attribute we covet, we will see that he lacks other gifts. Maybe even a crooked nose or no sense of humor.

So what is the answer? Stop striving? No, just change one word. Stop trying to be “the best” and start trying to be ”your best”. Stop comparing yourself to others. If you want to be a great artist or you want great abs or you want to excel at tennis, work hard. Judge your work against your past work...judge it on it’s own merit...judge your effort. Did you do the best you could do? Doing “your best” in everything you value leads to pride of accomplishment and high self esteem.

Next time you are tempted to compare your talents or attributes with someone else's, remember this. Trying to be “the best” sets you up for disappointment and low self esteem. Doing “your best” leads to pride of accomplishment and high self esteem. To me it’s a pretty clear choice.

I truly believe in Albert Einstein's statement that 

"Anyone who has never made a mistake

 has never tried anything new."

Whatever you're facing today, 

Keep going. 

Keep moving.

Keep hoping.

Keep pressing on.

There is victory on the other side.

Mandy Hale