With positive 

goals, 

attitude 

and desire, 

any obstacle can be overcome.

- Robin Babb

Efforts and courage 

are not enough 

without purpose and direction.

- John F. Kennedy

The difference 

between the possible 

and the impossible 

lies in a person's 

determination.

- Tommy Lasorda

FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE

When we are in transition, it’s easy to lose sight of what makes us happy. To focus on the negative aspects of our transition and forget about the good things in our lives. Big things like our health...our loved ones...our financial security and little things like the smell of coffee brewing...the happy greeting our four legged friends give us when we walk in the door...ice cream. (OK, the ice cream may just be my happy place, but you get the idea.) 

A good example of this is a client who was moving because of her husband’s job. She was having a tough time adjusting to the fact that she was leaving her home, her friends and the life she had built in her present location. She understood all the logical reasons they had to move and it was a great opportunity for her husband. But that didn’t help her emotionally. She talked about every aspect of her life that was going to be disrupted - doctors, schools, friends, and had very clear, vivid pictures in her mind of the chaos it would cause. But she never looked at two very important aspects of this move (or of any transition).

1. What positive things are going to remain stable in your life? 
2. What possible positive outcomes can there be from this transition? 

In the course of our sessions I asked her to make a list of everything that was going to stay the same in her life. At first she couldn’t think of anything, but as we worked through it she realized that all the important things, husband, kids, financial security, health, and even the little things like the ice cream and the coffee brewing will all be the same in her new location. 

Then we worked on the possible positive outcomes. In a very short time she had a long list. After exploring her new town on line she discovered that there was a charter school that would be perfect for their daughter who had a gift for math. Because their new town was bigger, they would have the opportunity to take advantage of many more cultural events. And the list went on. And she got excited about the possibilities that awaited her and her family. Her move will still be challenging, but by changing her mindset from dwelling on the negative aspects of the transition to the positive aspects, from looking back to looking forward, she made a conscious choice for happiness. 

Try it with your transition, and if you are having trouble, give me a call. I’d be happy to help!